I have decided to revive my blog this time.

I guess I really need someone to talk to, but I feel that I can't possible talk to people about these. So I shall write now, I have always loved writing, can just go on and on.

My life has been really not right everytime I fall for a guy. It has not proof me wrong time and time again as this time with Dave.

First knew him through mutual friends and at Sunset bay, sentosa. Thereafter, have been practically going down Sentosa everytime just to play the game and to go back with him after that because we were taking the same bus. Things were fine at first, taking the bus to go out and all. He was a very nice fellow, considerate and though I must admit he is not handsome at all, with such small eyes and thick brows, I love the way he smiled. In my eyes, he's handsome in some ways. We started going out for movies, spending more time together, perhaps just because both of us were working shift and has more chance to be together. We were like this for many many months, I should say almost a year now.

Many a times, Dave has asked me to be his gal, but how much I wanted to say yes each time, but was afraid of taking the step out to accept a new guy in my heart. I told him the reason and he said I should open up and be more confident. My past relationship was a terror, he never knew how bad it was, so I tot perhaps he doesnt understand.

So I thought that Dave will be with me sooner or later, I will just take my time to accept him. I waited for the faithful day to come. But as time goes by, we get to know each other even better. Such that flaws and problems surfaced, my dreams of being with him just seemed impossible, drifting further and further as day goes by.

We would quarrel everyday, and I mean everyday now! It's so tense and heartache. Most of the times, I was in the wrong. I said wrong things and he would flare up and mood change. Just like that day, exactly on last Sat, when I sat in his car, so eagerly waiting to see him. Once inside, I saw that his face wasnt looking gd and he was obviously not happy, so I asked. And the next moment was a big quarrel, and I just simply don't understand. Perhaps I really shouldnt speak or ask him anything. And he said its another misunderstanding.

Then yesterday, he was supposed to bring my panasonic hp for repair at alexandra. So he drove me there, who knows, the same thing happened again, he came up to my house to wait for me. But when I went ahead to open the gate for him, he said, "How come your face like that?" I was shocked, and I didn't want to look sad. I was expecting him eagerly to come up, did I go overboard? Perhaps it's another misunderstanding. But it seems the same thing always happen again and again, except that now he's the one unhappy with my face.

We are both so particular about each other, stubborn abt things that it has become worse. I have even believed that we will never be together eventually because I have lost trust with him. But I keep thinking, what has led to this? Is it because we were just too comfortable with each other? Or just take each other for granted now? I have no answers.